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12:13 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
It's almost a shame they broke up. I was looking forward to coining a new nickname in place of "Bennifer": J. Blo. [++link]
2:27 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
They still have hanging as a death penalty option in Japan. I wonder when they last dusted that off. [++link]
1:31 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
I prefer UK animal rights protests, where it's openly about class hatred. [++link]
8:57 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
A little more job-related pressure is probably good for the air-traffic controllers. [++link]
8:54 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Howard Stern is still doing radio? Jesus Christ Scientist, don't you freeway commuters feel boredom in any amount? [++link]
1:01 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++
8:47 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
I'm a trefoils & coffee guy myself. [++link]
9:05 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Last article I'm posting on Mel's Bloody Life of Brian. Significant because it appears in an Atlanta paper, calls for reasonable behavior based on Christian teachings and scripture, and has a pic of Mel in a dopey hat directing the Saviour and his body double. [++link]
8:48 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
I'm not in a position to volunteer bandwidth for grey tuesday, but I can always hop on the bandwagon like a good little blogger. I've downloaded some stuff off the grey album, and it's fun as mash-ups go. The music industry continues to slam new creative trends with lawsuits and public demonization, and then they wonder why they aren't making as much money... I've got a hint: It's not because people aren't listening to music. [++link]
8:35 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Raise a Coffee Mug: The Enormous Fun Weblog is three years old. The first-ever, hand-coded page can be seen here, if you are interested. Most of the links are long-dead, although my first instance of mocking the Swiss is intact.
Much has changed. Robot Wisdom and MisterPants, two of my early inspirations for EF, went dark. Mr. Pants appears to have come in from the cold, bless him, but Jorn Barger is still hiding from the agents of Ashcroft in an undisclosed location. Come back Jorn, before your beard goes all Dumbledore.
Anyway, they come and go, but we are still here. Big thanks to the Partisans of Fun, my blogrollers, and all the rest of you who give me my 40+ hits per day, even if you are just searching for big weenie pr0nz.
[++link]
12:05 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Things that make you want to puncture your eardrums with an icepick: disco remixes of Pink Floyd. These people belong in Hell, seated between Mussolini and the guy who shot Bambi's mother. [++link]
8:12 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
When Achewood really speaks to you, you sometimes wonder if Chris Onstad is a freakin' genius or if maybe your life is just really screwed up. [++link]
10:58 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
I voted for Ralph Nader in the last presidential election. There. I said it.
My reasoning was that Virginia was a lock for Bush, and the most meaningful use of my vote was to give aid to a potentially viable independent party. I figured I wasn't doing any harm, since there was no way Nader could win. I'm sorry now, since apparently the unbalanced glory hound thinks we were actually voting for him.
[++link]
12:58 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++
12:36 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Mel's dad apparently slipped the leash, and has pissed gasoline all over smouldering concerns that The Movie No One Really Wants to See will reflect his merry splinter group's rejection of Vatican II as a plot by the Jews and Masons to take over the church.
(I'm sorry, but if you base any of your beliefs about anything on the notion that the Jews and/or Masons are conspiring to do anything, you are mentally unstable and should be on medication. Or you are a medically provable dumbass.)
[++link]
12:09 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Everyone get ready to celebrate the Tibetan New Year this weekend. It's the year of the wood monkey. I see no reason to modify this in accordance to the new conventions. [++link]
11:27 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
"I am angry that so many of the sons of the powerful and well-placed and so many professional athletes (who were probably healthier than any of us) managed to wangle slots in Reserve and National Guard units. Of the many tragedies of Vietnam, this raw class discrimination strikes me as the most damaging to the ideal that all Americans are created equal and owe equal allegiance to their country." -- Colin Powell, My American Journey, p. 148 [++link]
8:25 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
The UK is considering instituting a "fatty food tax" on foodstuffs with poor nutritional content. I'm assuming they couldn't figure out a metering system to support an oxygen tax. Next up: Taxes on weather complaints and anti-French sentiments. [++link]
2:57 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Did I wake up on the wrong side of the Reformation? I mean, these are the friggin' Dutch, right? [++link]
2:44 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
When your woman starts really ripping on her friends, take heart. (And agree without piling on.) [++link]
10:14 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
So, you think you know Kung Fu? Hah. That little bit of garbage style that you know, I would be afraid to show it! [++link]
4:51 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
I'm pretty sure they did this 40 years ago and called it Vatican II. (Which Mel and his apostate buddies have rejected, worryingly, but last I checked he was an actor and is not Pope.) [++link]
2:37 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
In a previous incarnation, I was an intern in the Africa division of Amnesty International USA. I read some pretty nasty reports during my time there, but I don't remember reading anything that pegged out my what-the-fuck-o-meter as much as women facing the death penalty after having a miscarriage or stillbirth. If you put Kafka and the Taliban and a few dozen monkeys with typewriters in a small room for a few dozen years, they couldn't have come up with that shit. [++link]
2:15 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Don't even think about it, man, Zsa Zsa has dibs. [++link]
1:46 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Various advertising swine have been spared the vengeful wrath of Johnny Cash risen from the grave. Repent, ad swine. Repent. [++link]
1:44 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
A child and a few dozen dead people. Man, the Führer must be soooooo proud of you boys. I'm sure he'll let you know when you meet up in hell. [++link]
4:23 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Lemmy Kilmeister, who has survived decades as the leader of Motorhead, will become the first rock performer to headline at the London Opera House. As an added feature to his performance, Lemmy will be meeting with fans after the show and head-butting the brainmeat out of anyone who uses the words "you" and "sellout" within five minutes of the other. [++link]
11:56 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
"Even NASCAR is getting into the action. In this weekend's Daytona 500, the hood on driver Bobby Labonte's Number 18 car will have an ad for the movie." Will Aramaic be the new Elvish? [++link]
8:51 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Mr. Mittens is so busted. [++link]
4:59 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Okay, if KUWm is going to fall back on yahoo! news for blog fodder, I have no compunction about trotting the zoo babies out. [++link]
4:37 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Note to Quebec: You might want to watch a comic's show a couple times before you give him a million bucks. In English, that's called Due Diligence. [++link]
3:30 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
10:55 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Ooooh, this is terrible. Shouldn't be allowed. Don't skip the slideshow. [++link]
10:53 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
New Penguin whomping Flash game. New one, not just a yeti-on-steroids version of the last one we found you. Happy Friday. Don't go doing any work or anything. [++link]
8:23 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
The Nuge is hawking his own blend of coffee (scroll alllll the way down). This is to help clear all the jerky out of your colon, I assume. The Nuge: He Rules. [++link]
8:13 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Speaking of my unabashed hero worship of James Lileks, he's finally named his brand of evil little cigars. If you think I'm weird for caring, wait until you start seeing those tins everywhere you look. [++link]
11:20 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
It takes a lot to put a Lutheran off coffee. This would do it, thank you very much Mr. Lileks. [++link]
10:55 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Look for the US version of this next year on Fox. You were warned. [updated -- Oh, I see. It is on Fox. It's all happening now. I'll be over here taking lots of different pills.] [++link]
10:52 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Watched the Westminster Dog Show both nights, because I am a dog weirdo. I was rooting for the Ibizan hound for best in show, because I am also a sighthound and primitive breed partisan. I am sharing this as an excuse to post this article, which contains the irresistable phrase "hailstorm of offal". [++link]
10:20 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Excerpted from a thing I wrote yesterday:"Primary day. Kerry, Clark, or Dean.
My state drank the punch, as did Tennessee. I'd be a lot happier with my opposition to the current administration if the other options didn't look so disappointing.
[++link]
It's like going into a cage full of diseased monkeys and trying to pick the one that will shit all over you the least...
Kerry's out. He really, really wants to be president. He's like a smarmy prep school kid who's decided he wants to fuck you before the party's over and who'll say and do anything. That smile of his says: Have some more punch. You stuck-up bitch.
He is also a zombie, and will begin eating brains like Carvel ice cream cake the moment he's let off-script."
2:10 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Origin of the term, since you might be curious and not want to read the longer (albeit very interesting) article linked below: "In 1951 the psychiatrist and popular medical writer Richard Asher coined the term 'Munchausen's syndrome' to describe patients who were, like the German baron of the eighteenth century, inclined to travel widely and tell false stories." (Prof. Roy Meadow popularized the term Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy [MSBP]). [++link]
1:50 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
I notice I haven't mentioned Munchausen by proxy in a week or so. Soon fix that, since it would appear that the pendulum of hysterical public opinion has swung back hard into the term's originator. [++link]
12:45 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Again, that's NORWAY. Boring, homogenous, humorless, freezing cold bloody NORWAY. [++link]
12:39 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
I seem to remember the French rat-fucking us in the UN because of something about not setting off the powder kegs of unassimilated, silo'd, poor, pissed-off Arab immigrants salted around all their major cities. Of course, passing legislation targeting the female children of Muslims who are trying to assimilate is more than acceptable, since it isn't helping the US or it's allies. (And it shits on the Jews, too! Double play!)
This isn't rote Frog-bashing, I must insist. If anyone can explain to me why this is a good idea for France (in light of the fact that far more homogenous and lily-white European nations like NORWAY have decided against headscarf bans), I'll spring for dinner at Le Gauloise.
[++link]
4:06 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
No link, just a query: Have I just missed out on the huge number of brutal parodies riffing on LOTR and Scientology? Or am I the only one who thinks there's some funny to be had making Elrond Hubbard jokes? [++link]
2:01 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
I find myself in the disagreeable position of having to adjust one of my deeply held beliefs. I am now unable to dismiss all Segway owners as pretentious, spendy twats. [++link]
10:59 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Who's going to play CIA director George Tenet in the inevitable movie? Oh, I think we're talking DeNiro. [++link]
2:31 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
I'm still looking for a citation on the "modern Americans work more than medieval peasants" stat. The fact that we all probably feel like it isn't enough, I suppose. As for me, I'm counting down six and a half months until my sabbatical commences. Unread book heap, watch out! [++link]
6:42 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Dude! Frodo and Merry are going to be chucking beads at Mardi Gras! [++link]
12:55 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
WaPo article on DC Bloggers. We are not mentioned. I intend to sue. [++link]
12:53 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
NYC Fetish shop DeMask is annoyed at Miz Jackson and the Pizza Guy for wrecking their product placement. [++link]
11:29 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
My perfect dinner party in Hell: I'm at the far end of the table with everyone listed here. They're serving airline food with plastic knives. [++link]
4:53 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Being a resident of the city of Arlington, and having vague concerns about leaving the house some morning to find the air full of hombrewed radioactive death, I signed up for Arlington Alert a while back. And totally forgot about it until this morning when I got a random system check text msg from them and nearly shit through my Aeron chair. [++link]
3:03 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
No link, just a rant: Even if the Jews killed Jesus, why the grudge? I've read the book, and he was up and talking three days later. No harm = No foul in the grown-up playbook. [++link]
3:00 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
At some point this movie is going to open, and all the people having conniptions about it will discover that a full-length unsubtitled movie isn't going to impact on the mainstream even if it does say that the Jews killed Jesus, JFK, and Tupac. Not even with the local franchises doing Scientology-style ticket buy-ups. [++link]
2:55 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
We fixed something broken, and it was on Mars. Go Earthling Tech Support, Go! [++link]
5:59 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
For the benefit of all of us who knew the scene was better without subtitles but somehow needed to know. [++link]
1:57 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Kennewick man: Looks a bit like my grandma. I realize this is of no consequence in relation to the surrounding issues, but it is true. [++link]
11:20 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Updated: The esteemed Mr. Lydon is apparently still punk rock enough to swear on TV. And to go storming off (after dispensing hugs). [++link]
4:42 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Do not get between the most powerful man in the free world and his ribs. [++link]
1:09 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Cute, yes, but does it vibrate? [++link]
1:56 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Okay, enough with the Janet Jackson aureolskepsis. What is the difference between an American citizen who has lived in Paris for the past 2 years and an American who has lived in Washington DC his whole life? Well, only one of them has a shot in hell at getting voting representation in Congress. Happy Super Tuesday. [++link]
12:19 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
While as a smug TiVo user, I find this particularly hilarious, I also wonder exactly how they know... [++link]
2:22 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Pixies reunion gig. Think I just peed a little. [++link]
12:57 PM ++ posted by Maggie ++
Torn, my ass. Look closer and you see the errant piece was attached with snaps. [++link]
10:33 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Kerry has sewn up the closeted ex-garage band bass player vote. [link snitched from Wonkette] [++link]
10:14 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
8:45 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
What happens when you smugly TiVo past the whole half-time show? You miss the creepy pizza delivery guy yanking Janet's tits out. (And yeah, yeah, we regret this deplorable blah blah blah.) [++link]
7:57 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Only a man who grew up in snow-bound Minnesota could understand how I feel under several Northeast-European tons of the cursed powder: the overwhelming desire to hibernate is tempered only by the drive to clear out a shelf or two. [++link]
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