Contact
EnormousFun {at} gmail [dot] com

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

6:34 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Porn more popular than music?!?! I am Jack's Total Lack of Surprise!  [++link]

5:47 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

A recent poll suggests that Virgin Radio listeners are a real pack of mopes.  [++link]

4:00 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

EF favorite Ali G had one of the ten most shrieked-about advertising posters in the UK for 2002. See all 10 and marvel.   [++link]

12:23 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Nice interview with Wm. Gibson, in the Telegraph. Registration required; sorry.   [++link]

12:19 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Saddam's letter from camp, translated.   [++link]

12:17 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Spamming is now a felony in the great state of Virginia. The law sounds patently unenforceable, and it will probably be used mostly as a blunt instrument for harassing adult businesses, but isn't it a nice day.  [++link]

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

4:38 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Circumcised men appear to have the same degree of penis sensitivity as men who are uncircumcised, a new study suggests. So stop fucking whining.   [++link]

11:46 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

PETA: Twats.  [++link]

11:08 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

I know I'm a member in good standing and deep debt to the Apple cult of personality but this fuggin rules!  [++link]

11:00 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Rebel flag-emblazoned Burkas for everyone!! "I'm here praying, and it's hard on a human being not to be distracted."  [++link]

Monday, April 28, 2003

2:44 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Hope remains that American moviegoers may not be the stupidest bipeds stumbling across the earth.   [++link]

2:37 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Chomsky: We should examine carefully what's being established here in the prologue. For one, the point is clearly made that the "master ring," the so-called "one ring to rule them all," is actually a rather elaborate justification for preemptive war on Mordor.   [++link]

11:12 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Christina Aguilera's doing some sort of Single White Female deal with Thora Birch.   [++link]

11:09 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

More foot powder for Mr. Godzilla!  [++link]

11:08 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Researchers looking for the swine who led the Nazis to Anne Frank's attic have given up. Check with Hell.  [++link]

Sunday, April 27, 2003

4:20 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

For those of you who didn't want to get up today, just a wee reminder that there are worse things than Monday mornings and your jobs.  [++link]

8:40 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Hey Fidel, ¿Como se dice, "The beatings will continue until morale improves"?   [++link]

Saturday, April 26, 2003

3:45 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

It's ANZAC Day, which is something you don't exactly celebrate, but observe. Whip up a batch of these and watch an old Mel Gibson flick.   [++link]

Friday, April 25, 2003

3:19 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Yowling Celtic headcase Sinead O'Connor has quit music. No, this is a recent story.  [++link]

12:06 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

And as long as I'm snitching B3ta links, New Weebl.  [++link]

12:03 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

No one under 30 is going to understand just how much this rules. Leave me alone, you obstreperous little curs; Great Uncle Will's watching his Max Headroom.  [++link]

11:02 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The Hell that this guy will occupy for all eternity is very easy to imagine.  [++link]

Thursday, April 24, 2003

4:45 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Spring is here, and that means Zoo Babies.  [++link]

1:29 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Madonna says we're superficial. We're also apparently ropy old tarts whose thundering surplus of self-regard shields us from any notion of hypocrisy. Careful with that Botox needle, cowgirl, think you might have paralyzed part of your frontal lobe...  [++link]

12:24 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Quote of the Day, from the aggrieved exec prod of a reliably mediocre sitcom: "If they're going to toss you aside for 'Game Show Moments,' where's the integrity and dignity in this business?"   [++link]

11:10 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Sticky swinging balls for kids banned in UK. Note: "Rubber" means "eraser" in British English.  [++link]

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

11:21 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Kindly Uncle William's plight (five posts below) really doesn't peg out my sympathy-meter, I'm afraid. Y'all can walk less than two blocks in any direction and get a cup of coffee to go. Me, I live in a city with exactly one - yes - one place where you can do that. Anyplace else, they look at you like you're from Mars if you suggest the possibility of removing a beverage from the premises so you can get on with your life. Oh, yeah, and the tap water here? A delightful, aromatic infusion of backwash and giardia. If not for beer and vodka, people here would die of thirst.


On the bright side, though, you can buy ice cream on any street corner when it's 20 degrees below zero. Homesick now...   [++link]

10:58 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Newt, Newt, Newt... Powell knows it's simply undignifed to join a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. That doesn't mean the rest of us can't indulge in fantasy "debates" with him involving pliers and blowtorches. Clearly he's let his subscription to Sit Down and Shut the Fuck Up^TM lapse, we'll see to it immediately.   [++link]

10:36 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

There are second acts in American lives, at least of late. We should begin reviewing this policy much more stringently.  [++link]

9:21 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Does anyone actually play Mortal Kombat anymore? Or is the whole franchise subsidised by anti-videogame Family Values pressure groups?  [++link]

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

7:19 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

I'm sure other contributors will respond to this article more eloquently than I, but here goes: Newt, shut the screaming McFuck up and sit your irrelevant hillbilly ass the McFuck down!! Blame the State Department week is NEXT week, you wanker!   [++link]

3:36 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Why's Will in such a shitty mood? they ask. Lots of reasons, of course, but here's a unique one for today.  [++link]

1:23 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

"Video screens at the back of the stage depict almost every sexual act imaginable, alternating pictures of a defecating anus and a pair of cigarette-smoking vaginas chatting to each other." And when you're done watching FOX News, there's some sort of shock theatre thing going on in London you can check out.  [++link]

1:16 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I want a well-paying job. I am slow-moving, late for everything but lunch, ill-tempered, unfocused, prone to dislike people, an aggressively sloppy dresser, and have an ugly sense of humor.  [++link]

12:01 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Update: Madge gets her dirty mouth washed out.  [++link]

11:36 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Oh, she's a LADY.  [++link]

7:27 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

For all the Alyson Hannigan minions out there, THIS is the preview you've been waiting to see. And no, she does not have a woodwind of any kind up her persqueeter.   [++link]

7:12 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Answer: because we have lots of extra time on our hands. I love Tivo, it's better than "Cats", I'll watch it again, and again. (Customary free registration required)  [++link]

7:02 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Number one reason I decided not to waste my time watching the second season of "24": Dennis Hooper's Serbian accent. Number 2 reason: in a word, Kim.  [++link]

Monday, April 21, 2003

5:23 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Nina Simone is dead at 70.   [++link]

3:23 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Don't they know that you can catch more flies with...never mind.  [++link]

2:44 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

I have never before encountered anyone in more dire need of a hobby. I'm thinking Klingon softball leagues would be up their alley.   [++link]

11:04 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

In a chilling, newly-discovered deleted scene from The Excorcist, little Regan loses her shit at soccer camp.  [++link]

Sunday, April 20, 2003

5:11 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Bad, bad timing! No biscuit!  [++link]

Saturday, April 19, 2003

8:08 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Once upon a time, boys and girls, the phrase "pop-up" didn't mean internet ads (grrr kill). Ave atque vale to a rare genius.   [++link]

Friday, April 18, 2003

12:48 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Feel his gaze upon you: the one who lived. He will grow to greatness, and return to be the Moses of his people.   [++link]

11:32 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Little reminder to all of you who think there is no such thing as American Propaganda.  [++link]

11:24 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

"We hunted them with rocks, as Stone Age as that sounds," Wicksell said. "We gutted them and skinned them and pretty much carried them over our shoulders barbarian-style." Our Marines don't fuck around when it comes to suppertime.  [++link]

Thursday, April 17, 2003

4:54 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Interesting article from the Guardian on Male-Female brain wiring. Written by cognitive researcher Simon Baron-Cohen, whom I have yet to prove is Ali G's brother. (Go on, read it. There's a neat quiz or two as well.)  [++link]

4:34 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Faith and begorrah! Jaysus, Mary and Joseph, even.  [++link]

12:35 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Beefaters Covered in Bees.  [++link]

10:43 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Happy belated birthday to Switzerland's other great contribution to modern culture.  [++link]

8:47 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

I don't even want to know how someone arrives at the idea of googling Anne Frank fanfic. But when they do, they're going to find the link here, now, too. [Cheers and jeers to W. K. Milholland, creator of Something Positive.]  [++link]

7:09 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

More than once in the grocery store, when some oblivious fellow citizen veers unexpectedly into my path I've lamely joked aloud that people should have turn signals. Never occurred to me how retarded they'd actually make you look.   [++link]

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

3:37 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Wouldn't you love to hear his spin on MJ's 20th retirement?   [++link]

2:26 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

It's New Cartoon Day at EF. [link snitched from Amy Splitt, thanks hon.]  [++link]

2:24 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I had this job, only I was working for DoD telling Korean War vets that they'd been lied to about lifetime medical coverage and no one was going to do shit about it.   [++link]

12:07 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I used to live in fear of what would actually make Ted Rall happy. It occurs to me now that he is a happy man, living in a world where he is right and everyone else is a gullible boob or a Nazi. Here's to the only man who can see the terrible truth.  [++link]

12:04 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Modern Drunkard Magazine. You can thank me at the bar.

PS -- thanks to Bret at Neoflux for the link to the propaganda posters.   [++link]

11:21 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Old article, new to me, about Miami homeless children's folklore. (Horrible Anne Rice prose-style, content fucking riveting.)  [++link]

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

2:10 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

I don't get soapbox-y about a lot of things (no, seriously) but this is one of them. I draw the line at boycotting M&Ms, though.   [++link]

11:10 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Autistic kids apparently respond to complex changes in the tone and pitch of sounds, but not to actual words. Turned around a bit, it explains a lot about why it's such a pain to tell musicians anything.  [++link]

10:58 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

If I was Rodney King, I'd never get behind the wheel of a car again for the rest of my life. Man has no luck...  [++link]

10:52 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Premeditated homicide, not conceivably in self-defense and committed by a person judged sane: That's against the law, right?   [++link]

Monday, April 14, 2003

3:37 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Todd McFarlane is putting out a new series of toys based on the Wizard of Oz. Loosely based. I recommend looking them over as an object lesson in what can happen to your notions of creativity if you spend too much time around nu-metalheads and guys who beat off to splatter movies.   [++link]

3:20 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Prohibition creates a lack of respect for authority, which breeds violence and disorder. In other news, can you believe it only took two weeks for the NYC smoking ban to claim a life?  [++link]

2:58 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

They're cool, they're creepy, and they are not, repeat, NOT coming to a sewer near you. Let's hear it for the fine people of St. Augustine fucking with Darwin.  [++link]

11:44 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

They've uncovered what's being called Saddam's "love shack". Uh, no. Frazetta van-art and beanbag chairs? I got news, boys: that's a "green room".   [++link]

11:40 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

First Luchador to make the leap to politics: Japanese?   [++link]

11:38 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Not what you're thinking.  [++link]

Friday, April 11, 2003

2:49 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

You know I'm Born to Lose
And gambling's for fools
But that's the way I like it, baby,
I don't wanna live forever  [++link]

12:08 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

It's my birthday, and House of 1000 Corpses is playing at the theatre across from my office. The ineffable Tao whispers to me.  [++link]

Thursday, April 10, 2003

5:15 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

For those of you who don't surf the left link bar, Owlie comics are updating again. I tend to leave links up as a light in the window in case my lost friends want to come home; maybe it will work for Mister Pants as well...  [++link]

11:24 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Far worse job than yours: Hedgehog euthanizer.  [++link]

11:21 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Regrets: Never flew on the Concorde. I'm too old to join the air force, so I may just be screwed as far as experiencing supersonic flight goes. Twenty-first century transport is turning out to be pretty crap.  [++link]

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

5:06 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The French have their language academy, where they are trying to assure that French becomes a dead language, or at least regally inbred. This is a similar breed of academic delusion crossed with Orwellian snotbaggery, hilarious only because it introduces the notion that the antiquated gutteral clusterfuck that is the German language could possibly be "polluted" by the adoption of English terms.  [++link]

2:00 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I know I said I'd stay away from the warbloggy stuff, but really, this is just magnificent. [link c/o LizM]  [++link]

8:32 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

If he'd've said sarin, I'd have been chilled, but the actual plot confessed is made ridiculous by the fact that this is Metrorail we are talking about. As anyone who has lived and worked in the District of Columbia would be able to tell you, Metrorail is a deathtrap all on its own. It needs no help from bad guys. The summer of 1999, my commute between Rosslyn, Virginia and my home in northwest DC was thwarted on an average of once a week by the mysterious phenomenon of the Orange Line train tunnels somehow setting themselves on fire during rush hour. That's about the time I left town.  [++link]

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

4:19 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I get in moods, as you may have noticed, and sometimes I decide try to find this blog on google by searching on various strings of obscenities. FYI, this is a page two result for "enormous dog shit". So is this wee gem.  [++link]

12:22 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Fantastic old interview with evil little Japanese golem Takeshi Kitano.  [++link]

11:39 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Worse job than yours: Secret Night-time Hedghog Grabber.  [++link]

11:37 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Maybe he's dead, maybe he's not. Maybe he's dead and he's terribly lonely. Either way, he wants more dead Muslims.  [++link]

11:33 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Mewes Watch: Behind the Snootchies.  [++link]

Monday, April 07, 2003

5:39 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I have a bunch of officisms that I want to submit here, since my at-work hobby is passing nonsense words as jargon. (My latest success is "oversolve", as in "I don't think we want to oversolve a problem this minor; why don't we just do this: [insert my lazy idea].")  [++link]

11:13 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Long Live the Axis of Wiesel.  [++link]

Sunday, April 06, 2003

2:54 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Who do we like better, Bob or helium? And where can I get an amusing miniature sidekick?   [++link]

2:37 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Did you change your clocks? Good. Did you change the batteries in your smoke detector? Do it, now. Don't question me!   [++link]

Friday, April 04, 2003

5:52 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

New TV Go Home.   [++link]

3:58 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Very good, children! Now, what does it mean when an army man says he's in the middle of a "Cluster-Fuck"?  [++link]

3:25 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Conservative Washington Post columnist Michael Kelly was killed this morning in a Humvee accident in Iraq. He was "embedded" with an Army Infantry division, doing exactly what he wanted most to be doing. He was in favor of going to war for moral reasons, not for cynical ones, and he put his life behind that belief. Regardless of whether or not I totally agree with his politics or even "like him," I do respect his ethics, and he wasn't a bad writer, either. Here's his final column. War is hell. Call him a would-be Dante.

Yes, I am a sap. Fuck off.  [++link]

2:25 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Blood and Souls! Blood and Souls for our leader's terrified double!  [++link]

10:57 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Eddie Vedder is what, 11 years old?  [++link]

10:55 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

And now, for your moment of Zen.  [++link]

Thursday, April 03, 2003

4:51 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

100 Years! 100 Years has reigned the IMMORTAL war-god BOB-HOVA!!! There will be TRIBUTE to his sky-filling MAGNIFICENCE!!! TREMBLE!!!!!  [++link]

4:04 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Triumph! The Unholy One has taken his ugly headgear and turd-like mustache and fled Baghdad like the weasel he is! Can everyone go home now?   [++link]

3:53 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Looks like somebody finally picked up the clue phone...  [++link]

11:27 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Ran across this place on the way to Maine last summer, and insisted on having my picture taken in front of it with Henry the basenji. Girlfriend Liz tolerates these things. I didn't realize it was an institution...  [++link]

10:12 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Anybody not had their fill of cheap irony this week?   [++link]

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

12:11 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Update: Girlfriend Liz and I are moved into our new digs. Henry the basenji is terrifically confused, but it seems to be dawning on him that All of This is His. Because of a combination of poor planning, poor execution, and freak weather, it took me three days to clear my old place. I will be walking like John Wayne after a gangbang for a week or so. But now it is done, and I can start setting up my office/computer and deleting the torrent of porno spam that is no doubt herniating my inbox.  [++link]

12:03 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

And in spite of everything, life goes on.  [++link]

12:02 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Sharon Fookin' Osbourne's gonna be fookin' alright, it would fookin' seem.  [++link]

12:00 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Leslie Cheung R.I.P.  [++link]

10:54 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Blogger's been acting twitchy, those last two posts should have gone up yesterday. Sorry.   [++link]

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

10:37 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Anybody else out there read The Stand? Anybody else out there wish they hadn't?   [++link]

10:26 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Neil Gaiman has a blog. Oh frabjous day. (If you have to ask who Neil Gaiman is -- no, not Neil Diamond!!! I'm gonna cry.)  [++link]

^top^

all text and images © are dead

2004 archive
january+
february+
march+
april+
may+
june+
july+
august+
september+
october+
november+
december+
2003 archive
january+
february+
march+
april+
may+
june+
july+
august+
september+
october+
november+
december+
2002 archive
january+
february+
march+
april+
may+
june+
july+
august+
september+
october+
november+
december+ 2001 archive
september+
october+
november+
december+