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Tuesday, September 30, 2003

4:29 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

I was so totally born in the wrong century.   [++link]

3:16 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Subdued rave for Bubba Ho-Tep and Bruce Campbell. If "limited release" in this case means "will never be screened in DC" I may openly weep.  [++link]

2:46 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Excellent news for book lovers, in particular those of us who read in the bath or have mail delivery persons who don't listen to the weather report. (People tend to assume you have some sort of cognitive disorder when they find books in your freezer, btw.)  [++link]

Monday, September 29, 2003

12:56 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Early Volkswagen ad. Well, not exactly.  [++link]

12:45 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Family honor 101: Which of the following destroys your family's honor: (a) A daughter in a relationship with a person of a different religion, (b) A father who beats the shit out of his daughter and stabs her 17 times before slashing her throat, (c) A father who murders his child then makes up a Susan Smith story about Al Qaeda terrorists being resposible? Answers may be written on the damp concrete walls of your cell. Take all the time you want.  [++link]

10:37 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

It's been quite a month for the ave atque vale files.   [++link]

Sunday, September 28, 2003

2:13 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

I'm not sure how my husband found this site, it was just there when I went to check my e-mail. I'm not quite ready to give him my blogger logon.   [++link]

Saturday, September 27, 2003

6:16 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

When they came for the fat chicks, I did not speak up...part II.  [++link]

5:58 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Well here's some modest improvement.   [++link]

Friday, September 26, 2003

3:06 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Matrix Revolutions trailer. Haven't watched it; I'm only willing to dick around on the job up to a point.  [++link]

1:30 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Yes, yes, ha fucking ha. The Russians beat you to this gag, by the way. (I will never be a fan of our President, but French twats who write books about how the US Gov't planned 9/11 as part of some oil conspiracy and then start selling novelty cards can basically suck my dick.)  [++link]

1:22 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The show that could not be exterminated...  [++link]

1:15 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Death stalks this day: Robert Palmer and George Plimpton, R.I.P. , and may your heaven be stylin'.  [++link]

8:58 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Today's Achewood is particularly jewel-like.  [++link]

Thursday, September 25, 2003

11:46 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Oh: Just to clarify, I have no anti-Yahoo News issues. I went through a no-yahoo-on-EF phase to break myself of lazy blogging habits (zoo baby pics, dopey dog stories, etc.). It was just an exercise.   [++link]

11:39 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

My unquestioning reflexive Anglophilia will prevent me from enjoying anything about this show. Luckily it sounds like it's going to suck.  [++link]

9:38 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Thank God.  [++link]

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

3:32 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Anybody else do a double take on Abu bin Sarumon here?   [++link]

1:39 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Sightings have been reported of the almiqui, an insectivore native to Cuba previously thought to be exctinct. Teams of naturalists have been swiftly mobilized to wipe out the horrible things once and for all.  [++link]

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

4:28 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Frank Bruno: He's no Tyson. Which is to say, when his psychological issues become unignorable, he doesn't respond by getting facial tattoos and threatening to sodomize people.   [++link]

4:13 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Nice interview with J.G Ballard, who has a new book out. Violent middle-class revolution fantasy; sounds charming.  [++link]

10:42 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Not the most auspicious anniversary for a major appeal to the public insisting that you're really really NOT a lying sack of shit.   [++link]

Monday, September 22, 2003

11:55 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

And since that link below will probably disappear in two weeks, here's a relevant link that should last longer.

Now get back to the David Blaine hatred, before we fall behind. Schnell! Schnell!   [++link]

11:49 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

We interrupt the anti-Blaine invective for a moment of uplifting human interest to get you through Monday morning.

Thank you. You may resume your spewing now.   [++link]

10:21 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Today, I will be content to let others express their hatred of David Blaine.  [++link]

Sunday, September 21, 2003

10:49 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I would be denying all of you something if I didn't link to the Shoot David Blaine game.   [++link]

5:34 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

I am sooooo NOT homesick anymore.   [++link]

Saturday, September 20, 2003

12:46 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers MUSHROOM MUSHROOM  [++link]

12:43 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Oh, fuck your god around three crosses whistling, I just blew a 23-day streak of no motherfucking yahoo news links. God damn you to a hell of being pulled inside-out with barbed demon cocks, David Blaine...  [++link]

12:15 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The Habitrail of Tears saga sinks lower and lower: Sir Paul has been caught in the maelstrom of Twattynesse Magicks radiating from Blaine.  [++link]

Friday, September 19, 2003

8:22 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

ARRRR!!! Meddlesome Belgian swabs!   [++link]

6:38 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

I'll be in my bunk. Oh, and shiver me timbers!  [++link]

Thursday, September 18, 2003

12:12 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

There's an even bigger twat than David Blaine himself attached to the Habitrail of Tears stunt: Yes, Harmony Korrine...  [++link]

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

5:28 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I live in the weather-wuss capitol of the world.   [++link]

3:17 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Friday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I will be honoring the occasion by holding EF Blog Like a Pirate Day. Contributors are hereby notified that any landlubberish posts will be edited so that they be seaworthy, me hearties.  [++link]

8:41 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

If you're enough of a dork, you might remember a superhero called The Gay Ghost. Not likely, really. Anyway, R Stevens of Diesel Sweeties fame has a new project, just as the Halloween candy hits the shelves...  [++link]

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

4:07 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

They need to post signs around David Blaine's Habitrail of Suffering. They should say something like, "DO NOT REINFORCE THIS MAN'S CHRIST COMPLEX".  [++link]

12:15 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

If you went to college when GHW Bush was in office and owned a pair of Doc Martens, you will nail this quiz.   [++link]

Monday, September 15, 2003

3:08 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Time's running out for getting your dead baby UK passport. No whinging, either; you had 3 decades...  [++link]

11:30 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

This makes me just drool like a baby. I'm glad I didn't know about it in advance, or I might have done some damn fool thing like undertake a quest to London.  [++link]

Friday, September 12, 2003

5:51 PM ++ posted by Maggie ++

David Letterman, covered in drool.  [++link]

4:34 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Where, oh where is my girlfriend tonight? Hanging out with a hundred guys dressed as Judy Garland...  [++link]

8:30 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

News is getting around about the Pixies reunion. We all want to believe...  [++link]

8:20 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Wear your black today: Johnny Cash is dead at 71. His kind will not pass this way again.  [++link]

Thursday, September 11, 2003

10:22 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

EXTRA: Socializing at work makes you more productive. Even more of a reason why staying in a job where you hate your co-workers is bad for your career. And if anyone tells you you're "stealing from the company," send them this link (and start pimping your resume', stat -- people who think that way generally suck).  [++link]

12:49 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Life carries on.  [++link]

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

5:28 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Come on Pilgrim; you know we loves you...  [++link]

8:56 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

Music of the Spheres. Or the Un-Spheres, as the case may be. Note that astronomers refer to the Milky Way as "a young, rambunctious galaxy". So there you go -- picture our cosmic hometown as a ten-year-old in a red cowgirl hat running around annoying the older, grumpier galaxies with a cap pistol. And the stately and ancient galaxies go "Hm HMMM" just like an 80-year-old Black woman. Awesome.  [++link]

8:26 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

So, Holland's implementation of EU one-size-WILL-fit-all smokefreeworkplace regs has been hamstrung by the restaurant lobby. Score. The bad news is that the lobby doesn't include "coffeeshops".   [++link]

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

4:32 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Anybody want to start a pool betting on when the first piss-filled water balloon hits David Blaine's habitrail cage?  [++link]

2:51 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Hitchens has ponied up a screed against "9/11 kitsch" in anticipation of the upcoming anniversary. I myself will be displaying the flag on my front stoop on that day, but I am of a single mind with Hitch otherwise: "What is required is a steady, unostentatious stoicism, made up out of absolute, cold hatred and contempt for the aggressors, and complete determination that their defeat will be utter and shameful. This doesn’t require drum rolls or bagpipes or banners."  [++link]

11:43 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Victory in Amsterdam against L. Ron's litigious idiots.  [++link]

11:07 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Leni Riefenstahl "quietly fell asleep" last night. If there is a hell, that's where she woke up.  [++link]

Monday, September 08, 2003

1:58 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Don't ye be forgetting, landlubber.  [++link]

1:55 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Send lawyers, guns, and money; the shit has hit the fan.  [++link]

11:10 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Question for fans of Radiohead: Have any of you ever masturbated while fantasizing about Thom Yorke? Or is it purely an intellectual thing for you?  [++link]

Friday, September 05, 2003

7:53 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

So help me god, I can't think of a morning when I wouldn't have killed to be able to do THIS!  [++link]

5:54 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

To show solidarity and sympathy with David Blaine, I have not updated my blog for 24 hours. Whew. Feat of endurance or what?  [++link]

Thursday, September 04, 2003

5:24 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

In other military music news, there's a shortage of qualified buglers available for funeral services. As an alternative to playing a tape when no bugler can be found, the DoD has approved a digital device that can be inserted in the bell of a bugle, which a member of the honor guard holds to his mouth as if actually playing "Taps". It's hair-splitting to argue that lip-syncing is a shittier version of full military honors than using a boombox, but one can't help but marvel that there aren't more servicepeople willing or able to learn to blow four notes on a horn.  [++link]

3:56 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Today's great sucking quagmire is brought to you by the letters F, U, B, A and R.  [++link]

1:01 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Ever wondered what mathematicians do all day? Besides trickling dandruff and chalk dust all over their environment?  [++link]

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

3:48 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

I know I know I know that linking to something I saw c/o our friends at b3ta is lamer than lame, but this just buried the needle on my what-the-fuck-o-meter.   [++link]

1:41 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Speaking of the National Lampoon: Holy Shit, the Utterly Monstrous, Mind-Roasting Summer of O. C. and Stiggs is online.   [++link]

1:37 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Interview with PJ O'Rourke in the Onion. He doesn't have a book coming out or anything, but the Lampoon 1964 High School Yearbook parody is being reprinted.  [++link]

11:28 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

"I believe that the moment I'm executed, that my soul will be made perfect in holiness, and I will be in the immediate presence of the Lord, and I will be forever with him. So I'm looking forward to that." Um, don't worry about saving me a seat, guy.   [++link]

11:23 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Beloit College has released its annual Mindset List, which is meant to help tenured professors orient themselves to the cultural timeframe of incoming frosh. In practice, it is mostly used as an interoffice email "joke" meant to make everyone over 25 feel like Gandalf the Beige.  [++link]

10:58 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++

It's a good thing there's no electricity, or they'd spend all their time changing light bulbs.   [++link]

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

4:23 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Four more days of build-up before David Blaine gets into his pissbox, then 44 days of blessed quiet.   [++link]

4:20 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Animal Liberation Front activists recently freed 10,000 minks from a farm in Washington state. The minks are starving, of course, so they are rampaging through local farmland killing ducks, geese, chickens, dogs, and anything else they can get hold of. So, the minks are saved from cruel deaths, and this is a great victory, in spite of thousands of other animals being ripped to bloody bits as a result. And the local farmers, who are at risk of losing a year's income over this, are evil fascists for using traps, poison, and shotguns to keep the poor minks from shredding their livestock. I'm sure this would all make sense if I was a more highly evolved person.  [++link]

12:29 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Depressive thoughts apparently weaken your immune system. Find out if you are at risk. And again I ask: is there anything about depression that doesn't add insult to injury? Why can't they find out that depression increases your sexual stamina or your IQ?  [++link]

Monday, September 01, 2003

12:30 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

It's been a bad year for the Magnificent Seven. Vaya con dios, Bernardo.  [++link]

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