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9:58 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
And yes, you can infer that I am back from the sub-polar regions. Of course, I still have technology issues (read: my computer's power supply got fried like Elvis's breakfast) that keep me from posting as often as I would like. This could also be the Ineffable Tao's way of telling me to pick up a fucking book, for all I know. [++link]
9:50 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
I know I know I know I know lame lame lame lame but this one just pegged out my cool-o-meter. And it's much better for your brain than Popcap games. [++link]
9:46 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Americans do get irony. But it's the only area where I'm glad we're behind the Russians. [++link]
10:31 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
As you power down delicious turkey (with gravy & stuffing galore) today, spare a thought for those less fortunate: militant vegetarians, whose only pleasure comes from depriving their basic needs until their higher brain function is so mulched that the notion of being a "militant vegetarian" makes some sort of sense. [++link]
10:38 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
They're opening a Krispy Kreme within walking distance of my office. I honestly don't know whether to shit or go blind. [++link]
1:37 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Did I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving? Sorry: Happy Thanksgiving, all you Funsters. Here, look at sweetly singing crack babies. [++link]
12:42 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Prince Edward of England and his wife Sophie have chosen a name for their first-born baby girl: Louise Alice Elizabeth Mary Mountbatten-Windsor. According to her parents wishes, little LAEMMW will not be addressed as Her Royal Highness, but will be styled as Lady Louise Windsor. There will be all manner of screeching about this, since there are many in the UK who fear that the House of Windsor is being downgraded as a symbol of national pride and is on its way to becoming a Dutch-style "bicycling monarchy". I personally think that the Windsors could do worse than to encourage their next generation to acknowledge the general view that posh idiot figureheads are a bit last millennium.
[++link]
9:08 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Berlin is a very strange city. It's like a dirtier version of Portland, OR, with older panhandlers and more porn. And better bakeries, but worse coffee. And an unparalelled sense of the mundane bizarre. [++link]
8:52 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Order of the Phoenix ("De Orde van de Feniks") has just been released in Dutch, breaking records like Tipper Gore on a bender. I'm posting this as an excuse to direct you to the trailer for the new movie, which looks fucking great (dude! spinal column candles!). [++link]
7:10 AM ++ posted by Anonymous ++
11:02 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
A seven-woman, five-man jury, after less than six hours of deliberations, has recommended the death penalty for "DC Sniper" John Muhammad. In a further decision, the jury has recommended that he should also roast and putrefy in Hell for a period of no longer than eternity. [++link]
11:17 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Message to the Furries of America: Yes, God Hates You, and in a not-safe-for-work way. [++link]
10:58 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Well, that's it for me for the next few days. I won't be blogging since I'll be off on a business trip. Why the Ineffable Tao always sees fit to send me north of the Arctic Circle close to winter solstice time, I may never know. [++link]
7:17 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Imported slaves are soooo 19th Century. [++link]
12:36 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Don't tell Weebl and Bob the part about the donkey. [++link]
11:33 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Official Editorial Stance Time: If you go to see the new "live action" version of The Cat in the Hat this weekend, that makes you a Furry. [++link]
8:17 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
It's nearly December, which in the US means the Thanksgiving merch is being swept off the shelves in favor of more profitable Xmas stuff. In the Netherlands, it's time for the annual fussfest over Zwarte Piet. (I am culturally agnostic here, since I'm not Dutch or Moorish; I will only say that turning a corner in Amsterdam and being confronted by three guys in blackface and Mardi Gras silks playing Dixieland was a bit of a trauma.) [++link]
5:34 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
Some small evidence that David Blaine did, in fact, starve himself for 44 days in an aquarium over London. Also stands as compelling evidence that he's a fucking idiot. [++link]
5:33 PM ++ posted by Maggie ++
Oh, thank heaven. Finally. [++link]
6:50 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
The day after I restate my vow to stay off the blog until December, cases get opened on Michael Jackson and Rush Limbaugh.
Briefly stated: Michael Jackson's odd little world is ordered on the principle that children are the best and most important thing that exists. If he's been fucking children, the magical supreme protectorate of his universe should rule that he be punished in some gruesome fairy-tale fashion. In Rush's perfect world, even rich white people who dabble in illegal drugs should be gulag'd. The two of them must be perfectly happy right now in a way that none of the rest of us can truly understand.
[++link]
8:56 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
So, I've managed about 500 words on my NaNovel. Unless I quit my job and lock myself in the study with 30 gallons of distilled water, a case of ramen, a gallon of bourbon, and sufficient coffee for a 10 day binge, there's just no fucking way I'm going to make deadline.
I'm not going into the mechanics of this ghastly failure, since excuses sound pathetic regardless. Suffice it to say, this was the wrong month for a lot of things.
I'm going to stay (mostly) off EF until December anyway. For one thing, I might as well do at least one thing I said I would this month. There's also the chance I'll use the time to write -- I'm not abandoning the project, I'm just not going to finish it within the NaNoWriMo framework.
[++link]
3:19 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Dear Pentagon Public Affairs guys: repeat after me: OOOOOPS. [++link]
12:41 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++
Leonid meteor showers! Shooting stars! [++link]
12:15 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
PJ O'Rourke interview. And no more from me until December; I have 49,467 words to go. [++link]
7:31 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Smug Mugs gums...umgs....uhhhh... [++link]
9:23 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++
As some of you will recall, my two favorite whipping boys in the early days of the blog were the Swiss and the Taliban. So I must post this story, regardless of my NaNo vow of silence.
(For the record, the novel is going disastrously, and not blogging is eating my brain like jello.)
[++link]
6:42 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
8:24 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
18 Days until Kindly Uncle William returns to the blog. We're all feeling the pain here. [++link]
3:50 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
WHOMP! WHOMP!
Dammit, why won't this stinking horse get up and move?
WHOMP!
[++link]
3:40 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
One of the disadvantages of living overseas: most movies that don't make it onto bootleg DVD within a week of release take ages to get anywhere within your time zone. I saw an ad for something called "28 Days Later" and thought it was some godawful sequel. Turns out I was wrong. It's much funnier than that. [++link]
3:12 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
While he was in the box we should have slipped him some free trial issues of Sit Down and Shut the Fuck Up. I'd offer him a lifetime subscription now, but he just might take care of the problem himself. [++link]
3:06 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
In case you were wondering. [++link]
2:11 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
No "Kill Bill" tickets for you, Joan (see November 7 post). But hey, thanks for the funny-face tool. I've been playing with President Shrub, turning him into Ted Kennedy or Al Jolson. Heeeee!!!! [++link]
1:50 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
I have not been boycotting the blog in order to draw out the other Funsters. I have been busy trying to digest the notion that the U.S. media deems it acceptable to publish the "news" that Jessica Lynch may have been sexually abused by her Iraqi captors.
Point one: I thought that most news organizations agreed that rape victims are entitled to keep their identities protected.
Point two: Private Lynch has almost no recollection of the events surrounding her capture. Why implant memories for her?
Point three: Have we gone so far backwards in time that the entire nation may lay paternalistic claim to her virtue, and consider a violation of her to be an assault on the American way of life? Or better still --
Point four: ...will this be used as an excuse to keep women out of (higher-paying, career-enhancing) combat roles in our military?
Point five: Do you realize that, if the allegations are true, some of our "allies" would have her stoned to death as an adultress?
This is an unusually long rant for me, I beg your pardon. All I really want to say is much respect to Private Lynch. I wish you a long, healthy, obscure life.
And who would have thought that the real class act here would turn out to be Larry Flynt?
Here endeth the lesson.
[++link]
3:18 PM ++ posted by Anonymous ++
Dearest Mugs,
The question on the table: Is Prince Charles a poofter? And if so, is his taste in men as, umm, misguided as his taste in women?
The larger issue that this dredges up is, what's up with freedom of the press in England?
[++link]
1:22 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Take today's date and write it "backwards", European style, i.e. dd/mm/yyyy. It doesn't take a genius. [++link]
5:55 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Pretty tough talk for a guy whose early career includes a role as bum-boy-for-hire. [++link]
3:05 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
This started out as a search for a cite of Tina Fey's SNL/Weekend Update gag "In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late." The plan was to link to an imdb page about Battlefield Earth. I found this along the way and just had to share it with you.
Now will my fellow Funsters please come out of the woodwork, it's exhausting trying to fill in for Kindly Uncle William full-time.
[++link]
5:46 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
How do they gag me? Let me count the ways... [++link]
10:26 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
I'm buying drinks, dinner, and creme brulee for dessert for anybody who can justify publication of this article. I'll throw in a movie if you can explain what the fuck they're talking about. [++link]
9:04 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Dushku fan geek boy alert! Dushku fan geek boy alert! [++link]
9:01 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
This is so going to screw up my holiday shopping plans... [++link]
8:53 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
By way of explaining the recent wave of Russia-related posts... [++link]
11:01 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
10:58 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Unclear on the concept. [++link]
12:51 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
How about bringing in Matt and Trey for re-write? [++link]
12:49 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
A historical footnote to a historical footnote. [++link]
11:21 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
Things to be Thankful For #14655: Jeb Bush is not governor of Alabama. [++link]
10:43 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++
They also make nifty cat toys, if you're not too concerned about breakage. [++link]
2:55 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
In Kindly Uncle William's absence, I pull double duty as Foreign Affairs Desk Chief and Look What Those Wacky Dutch Are Up To This Week Desk Chief. [++link]
2:45 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++
The good news is that it's not just the French who think we suck. The bad news is these poor bastards are naive enough to think that our Idiot-Manchild-in-Chief would seriously entertain suggestions that the U.S. "consult" its allies more frequently on foreign affairs. [++link]
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