Contact
EnormousFun {at} gmail [dot] com

Friday, May 30, 2003

5:13 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Robbie Williams, in yet another sorry, flailing attempt to get the US to notice his revolting person, has agreed to play a Village Person in some upcoming film disaster. Excuse if you will my nose-blasting gales of derisive laughter, but Robbie: who's going to record your parts?   [++link]

3:37 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

America's soldier of the future is apparently Boba Fett. Check out the silver boots...  [++link]

3:34 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Joan Rivers is sporting a new look.  [++link]

3:31 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Check with Mike Tyson's tattoo guy, see if any of his other facial clients got brain meningitis. Maybe he did Michael Jackson's eyebrows...   [++link]

12:10 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Euch. Eeeeuuuuuugggghhhhh. Straight absinthe chased with lager...   [++link]

8:48 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Hey, you wanna see something that Diesel Sweeties creator R. Stevens drew freehand?  [++link]

Thursday, May 29, 2003

12:34 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I don't have a birthday coming up for 10 months, which gives everyone time to pitch in for my UtiliKilt.  [++link]

12:05 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Two huge inflatable figures have appeared, one black, one pink; both strange, not to say repulsive. The black one - which is 40 ft high - looks like a cross between a seated Buddha, a bouncy castle and a monkey wrench.   [++link]

12:04 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

TREMBLE!!! TREMBLE before the MIGHTY 100 deeds of the IMMORTAL WARGOD BOB-HOVA!!!  [++link]

11:55 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Shows what I know: I assumed that Wm. Gibson had made up the Buzz Rickson's historically hyperperfect clothing concern out of whole cloth (as it were). Turns out the only bit he made up is the color of Cayce's jacket. It is an easy thing to underestimate our wonderful Japanese friends.  [++link]

2:05 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

The 2004 campaign claims its first casualty.   [++link]

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

4:15 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Unworthy! Unworthy are you ALL to witness the dawn of the second 100 Year Reign of the IMMORTAL BOB-HOVAH!!! You will TREMBLE as he deigns to impart IMMORTAL wisdom!!!  [++link]

11:03 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

If it comes out of the ice, it smells like seals. If it smells like seals, it's fair game.  [++link]

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

11:38 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Been to Trader Joe's in Alexandria twice this month, and I noticed the $9.99 supertomato plants, but totally missed the Two Buck Chuck. I must be sick; I normally spot cheap red wine at sight-hound distances...  [++link]

11:21 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Another potential blow to the Segway: popularity in France.  [++link]

Monday, May 26, 2003

12:06 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday First Hippie,
Happy Birthday to You!   [++link]

Sunday, May 25, 2003

11:38 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

New Ripley movie, this time based on Ripley's Game, with Malkovich in the lead. The article makes no mention of the earlier adaptation by Wim Wenders (that was The American Friend starring Dennis Hopper as Ripley), so I will recommend it here, if you don't mind subtitles and German art-film pacing.  [++link]

Friday, May 23, 2003

1:13 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I've been leaving you all hanging on the whole time-suction-vortex Flash games thing lately, and I'm very sorry. Here, kill an hour with Tipi the Cow.  [++link]

12:17 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

SARS update: It's the andromeda strain, or it's from eating cats, or it's not a big deal anymore. Take your pick.  [++link]

12:13 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Apparently vacuous beauty Vincent Gallo neglected to brutalize any beautiful women in his tedious art-porn film project. That really pisses them off at Cannes.  [++link]

Thursday, May 22, 2003

9:13 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The Meat industry assures us that one case of Mad Cow in Canada isn't a problem for us Americans and we should grill our little hearts out for Memorial Day (presuming it ever stops raining). Like a lot of you, I generally don't get worried until the Don't Worry Be Happy press releases start flying...  [++link]

9:05 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The new Supersoakers sound totally badass.   [++link]

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

6:07 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Practicing Buddhist monks have been scientifically proven to be happy. This is purportedly linked to meditation, but the same brain areas light up even when they aren't meditating. So it might have something to do with not having to deal with office jobs, daily commutes, Visa bills, kids, telemarketers, or haircuts.   [++link]

3:54 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Fuck not with Spiny Norman.  [++link]

12:07 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

This slipped by me in the earlier post, but what the fuck are Christina Aguilera, Michelle Branch, Craig David (with Sting), Sugar Ray, JC Chasez, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Tyrese, and Lisa Marie Presley doing playing a music festival named after a screamingly obscene Ted Nugent song?  [++link]

12:04 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I'm not going to get stuck in the argument loop about who gets to use the 1st amendment here. I'm just going to sit back and be amused at the number of PC twitches who have managed to allow themselves to be associated with a group called the "Dixie Chicks". Not the "Antebellum Wymen", or the "Pre-Post-Reconstructionist Gender-Role-Stereotypes". Oh no: The. Dixie. Chicks. Think of the people you self-righteously brow-beat out of the campus center, hunched over their bagels in shame, for lesser word crimes by far. How's it feel to be a racist and a sexist now? Shiteyes...  [++link]

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

4:08 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

We're at Orange Alert, should you be interested. I guess I should join the crowd and scowl at Sikh cabbies and think about getting a shotgun at the Sports Authority.  [++link]

2:09 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

As my dear mother would say, there's a special place in hell for people like that, right next to the guy who shot Bambi's mother.   [++link]

12:25 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Good for you this week: Chocolate, thank you very much.  [++link]

12:24 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Christina has apparently discovered you can eat food and not throw up after. Good girl.   [++link]

8:40 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Advantages: No lawn, gentle rocking motion. Disadvantages: Soccer thugs jumping on your roof.   [++link]

Monday, May 19, 2003

11:06 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Depression increases your chances of developing Alzheimer's in later life. Thanks a lot. It couldn't possibly be linked to increased sexual potency or improved odds of winning at blackjack.  [++link]

3:14 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Okay, okay -- I'll come home if I can party in Orlando with these guys. Heh heh, what a gas, heh, heh heh.   [++link]

11:13 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Okay, there was no place like home. I'm giving y'all one week to say, "just kidding" or I'm not coming home.   [++link]

Sunday, May 18, 2003

1:48 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

It is a universal truth: there's no place like home.   [++link]

12:33 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Helen Mirren returns as Jane Tennyson. Oooooh, I've never been happier to get BBC America...  [++link]

Friday, May 16, 2003

11:34 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

China cracks down on hork terrorism.   [++link]

11:31 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Bill Paxton is strapping on the visible wires for a remake of super-creepy UK supermarionette show Thunderbirds. (Which is also the joke behind those creepy Orbitz commercials; you knew that, right?)  [++link]

10:55 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The perfect sick-day gift for your small child. Presuming you are the sort of sadist that Stalin wouldn't have in the house.  [++link]

8:26 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The true spirit of webcomics (i.e., cheap, vicious gags drawn as if sitting on the mouse and scooting like a constipated beagle) in action: Elftor. I love it; so will you.  [++link]

Thursday, May 15, 2003

12:03 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Don't miss the eclipse tonight. I'll be walking the dog; hope it doesn't rain.  [++link]

8:18 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The cruel truth, care of Nipples the Furvert Bear.  [++link]

8:17 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

In the spirit of Smallville, Young Indiana Jones, and the Muppet Babies, here comes l'il Hannibal...  [++link]

8:11 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

After two weeks of serious grocery-blogging, Lileks goes all obscure and literary and addresses the Pelagian heresy in Burgess' The Wanting Seed. I link to this even though I know all of you read Lileks before you even get to this site.  [++link]

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

5:15 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Democracy! Whiskey! Lewinsky!  [++link]

11:34 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

They do things a little differently in Oregon, we know this. But for fuck's sake...  [++link]

11:30 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Dudes, seriously, if I see iLoo Story 4.0, I'm switching to FuckingMacs.   [++link]

10:53 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Huge stink in Florida, again...  [++link]

10:52 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

iShitbox update: Not a hoax, or perhaps just a really whacked attempt at viral marketing (for what)?   [++link]

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

4:52 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

And while we're on the subject: A dog is not a purse.  [++link]

4:41 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I agree that this is a fascinating field of science, and that this sort of research is a novel approach, and for pity's sake, get a real dog...  [++link]

11:13 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Most of us wouldn't have touched that keyboard if it were made of platinum and diamonds anyway.   [++link]

Monday, May 12, 2003

4:00 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Rank and file UK police are overwhelmingly opposed to carrying service firearms in the course of normal duty.   [++link]

3:50 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The UK is pushing through legislation in service of what I'm sure we will all recognize as a thinly veiled anti-zombie agenda.  [++link]

11:30 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Went to see X-2 this weekend, and sat in front of this woman who was clearly being taken out for mother's day and yammered excitedly all through the previews, going so far as to opine, "Oh, that looks so fun, I love Matt Damon!" after the trailer for that new Farrelly Bros thing. Being as I'm a smug shit and all, I leaned over to Girlfriend Liz and whispered, "That's her. The lowest common denominator all this shit is aimed at. We've seen her face!" This and this are her fault, too.   [++link]

Sunday, May 11, 2003

11:39 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

During a brief period of manifestation in our dimension, the all-seeing vagina of Yoggoth casts a baleful glance at our puny human fears.  [++link]

Saturday, May 10, 2003

11:32 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Swept Away gets its official relase in the UK this week, straight to video. At a well-guarded pub somewhere in London, Guy Ritchie is calling on every bit of reserve in his being so as not to pounce on his wife and use his pint glass on her paralyzed face like a cookie-cutter...   [++link]

Friday, May 09, 2003

3:58 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Some Xtreme sports showoffs decided to BASE jump Nelson's Column in support of HH the Dalai Lama. Just because it's in a good cause doesn't mean it isn't a pointless, narcisstic, dumbass thing to do.  [++link]

12:58 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Looks like we'll have to wait for the DVD to see Ali G's punking of clueless scold Naomi Wolf.   [++link]

11:54 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

UK News: Bingo is trying to reposition itself as a younger, hipper way to sit around and wait for the ciggies to kill you.   [++link]

11:38 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

This is one of those news items that I imagine is causing heads to explode like microwaved eggs on campuses across the western world. (I think it's absurd too, but being the worldly old pipe 'n' slippers gent I am, I didn't even slosh my tea.)  [++link]

Thursday, May 08, 2003

5:13 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

It may have occurred to Madonna that the Brits are sick of her swanning around like she owns the place. Could be she's found a new comedy accent to affect...  [++link]

12:00 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Monica Bellucci and Jada Pinkett-Smith, playing to the crowd at the Matrix premiere. This must have been the quietest moment of the night; I imagine a reverent, reverent silence followed by a maelstrom of flash click whirrrrrr...  [++link]

10:50 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

President Happy Craven Fernandez?   [++link]

12:08 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Peanut butter has officially entered the pantheon.  [++link]

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

4:24 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

And now, pigs snuggling a tiger.   [++link]

3:37 PM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Some British chums of mine swore up and down the block that they watched this cartoon when they were kids and are shocked, shocked, that their fragile little minds were so deviously and subliminally warped. Well, it seems that they have to find something else to blame for their problems, 'cause this ain't it.   [++link]

11:53 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Ailing German media group EM.TV & Merchandising AG said on Wednesday it agreed to sell Jim Henson Company, the maker of the Muppets, to the children of their inventor, the late Jim Henson.   [++link]

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

4:10 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

I can't even begin to fathom what an act of social terrorism this device embodies: an internet-enabled portaloo. Imagine: a device which will cause even longer waits in the bathroom lines at summer festivals by encouraging wanking.   [++link]

3:48 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

In response to those of you who noticed my use of "publically" below, I quote Kenneth G. Wilson in The Columbia Guide to Standard American English. (1993): "Publicly is the usual spelling; publically does occur, but rarely in Edited English."

I offer as explanation that it was early when I started the post and there is no coffee in the house. Please do not report me to the regulatory body governing the use of the anus for purposes of retention.  [++link]

12:46 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

The Bumfights boys have had some charges against them dismissed. Lesson learned: If you're going to viciously exploit fucked-up poor people, make sure you get them so drunk they can't even corroborate taped evidence.  [++link]

8:58 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Controversial Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn was publically assassinated a year ago. He gets a statue in his hometown and a tulip named after him. The goon who shot him dead in the street got 18 years and is appealing the terrible severity of his sentence. I do love the immensely civilized and tolerant Dutch, but I don't understand them.  [++link]

Monday, May 05, 2003

2:26 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

New Hampshire's "Old Man of the Mountain" has been retired as the state symbol. Not on purpose or anything...   [++link]

2:25 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Beijing officials have called upon the Stark Fist of Removal in the fight against the SARS epidemic.   [++link]

2:23 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Duck and cover: Domestic emergency war-gaming time with Homeland Security.   [++link]

10:39 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Technically y'all are still a few weeks away from summer (at least in the northern hemisphere). Technically so am I, but we had freezing rain and I swear to God snowflakes coming down yesterday. So yes, it's a tad early but please, for my sake, sacrifice propriety to give the weather gods a much-needed kick in the ass. I have to know that somewhere out there, people have traded in their snow boots for sandals.   [++link]

Friday, May 02, 2003

4:52 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Hooray, hooray!
The first of May!
The first scruffy, underfed vegan student twat who so much as raises his voice in arm's reach of me is getting one right in the pie-hole today!  [++link]

2:41 PM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

In the spirit of joyous DaDa holidays like Talk Like a Pirate Day, I invite all Enormous Funsters to celebrate No Pants Day, privately or otherwise.   [++link]

11:54 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Quickie Wiliam Gibson interview; a couple of gems.  [++link]

11:52 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Oksana Baiul, throwing a super-slow pitch to caption writers the world over.  [++link]

11:29 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

And you thought those Brits were soooo uptight.   [++link]

9:23 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

This week at work has been particularly vicious, and it's not going to get better in the near future. I'm gonna start keeping a steady supply in my desk.   [++link]

3:56 AM ++ posted by Mugs ++

Rob Lowe, Job Blowe. This departure is gonna move truly good TV from "threatened" to "endangered". Thank God for amazon.co.uk.   [++link]

Thursday, May 01, 2003

10:32 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Without further ado, I give you the DeathPiggy SwastikaTits happy-meal toy.   [++link]

10:26 AM ++ posted by Uncle William ++

Exposure to bright light may increase testosterone in men and regularize menstrual cycles in women. More reasons not to be a Goth, besides that the music has been careening downhill since the 80s.  [++link]

^top^

all text and images © are dead

2004 archive
january+
february+
march+
april+
may+
june+
july+
august+
september+
october+
november+
december+
2003 archive
january+
february+
march+
april+
may+
june+
july+
august+
september+
october+
november+
december+
2002 archive
january+
february+
march+
april+
may+
june+
july+
august+
september+
october+
november+
december+ 2001 archive
september+
october+
november+
december+